Heart of Question Mark

Have you ever felt falling in love?? it's not about beauty, wealth or something else which can make you adored someone... it's about your heart's fast-beat  when u're beside her, it's about much pleasure when u can see smile on her face and it's about a feeling that makes you don't know what to do.

Guess what.. I feel that now, i haven't felt that feeling for a long time, eventhough this is my second time i feel this. first time i felt falling in love to my childhood friend in the elemantary school till i got into middle school, but we're separated when she moved to other city. and we've just been friends till now. she seldom text me, although when it's holiday we usually spend time together. i have expressed that to her, but i preferred to keep our bestfriendship.

I've been falling in love, and i don't know what to do, i don't want to hurt other's feeling since there're many other boy which are my friends like her too. and there're still many reasons why i'm afraid of expressing my heart: my own family, my consistency and so on.

I'm afraid when she became my girl, my family won't accept her because we're from different culture, not 'culture' but somekind like ancestry.. i was born as chinese and she wasn't.. as you know, chinese will probably prefer their son/daughter to find a chinese too for building new family. i have seen lots events when a chinese decided to marry non-chinese, their chinese family would reject the couple, and hates non-chinese one. it doesn't mean that i'm afraid of getting my love stand, but i'm afraid of my future wife's feeling getting hurt. in fact not all of my family members would hate her, but some of them would do.

i have approached one of her close friend, but i got dissapointed so i chose to surrender, i stopped approaching her and a lot of her friends (the one i approached to) asked me why i did stop to approach her. i knew that it's too sooner to get someone you really love (girlfriend) from a person that u're new to know, but i still did this.... i felt little upset doing this mistake. if i could get back to that time, i would choose not to do that mistake. how will other people see me as a unconsistent man??

and there're still many other reasons........... i really got confused. she has admitted that she like me two times, the first one happened a few months after we knew each other(it's in 2007), and the second one happened few months ago. although at the first time i didn't keep any feeling to her, but the second time, i keep little feeling and now, look like it has grown bigger since we got closer.

she fullfils 80% of my criterias.
don't know what to do (_ _") i'll wait for God's sign...